45 LIFE LESSONS, WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD

(Source: Men who dress like men)

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Let’s all please be aware of this one as well

Support Third Root Community center

Check out Third Root Community Center! I plan to head there very soon! Also they are having a special event on Saturday to support people affected by Hurricane Sandy.

Storm Support Event all day this Saturday, Nov. 3rd…please join us!
Posted on November 1, 2012 by TeresaTheophano
Third Root invites you to a very special

STORM SUPPORT EVENT

Saturday, November 3rd, 2012

Please join us in a gathering to promote healing within our community in light of the havoc wreaked by Hurricane Sandy.

Third Root is very sad to hear the devastating news about the two lives lost in Ditmas Park due to a fallen tree during the storm. Our deepest condolences to the families of Jessie Streich-Kest & Jacob Vogelman. We send our support, blessings and prayers.

1-3 pm: Open level, multi-generational yoga class taught by Emily and Jacoby, with live music by Morley
3-4 pm: Tea and Kirtan (devotional call & response chanting) led by Ravi and Roopa
4-6 pm: Community acupuncture with Geleni and Julia

A minimum donation of $10 is requested for services. All proceeds will be donated to Sean Casey Animal Rescue and Doctors Without Borders.

We encourage you to participate in any part of the day that you would like! We look forward to seeing you!

*Donations also can be made in the form of checks made payable to
The Jessie Streich-Kest Fund. Checks can be sent to the Jessie Streich-Kest Fund, c/o the Metropolitan Waterfront Alliance, at 241 Water Street, 3rd Fl., New York, New York, 10038.

Blood result, and why you shouldn’t assume I’m unhealthy because of my size

I got a call from my doctor the other day with the results from my blood test. Everything was wonderful. My cholesterol is extremely low, my blood pressure is low/average, I don’t even have a hint of possibly having diabetes, and my doctor ended the conversation with “You body is operating like a high school athlete.”

I do, however, have PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome)…something I’ve known about since I was 19-years-old. PCOS makes it harder for the person to lose weight. I have been an athlete since I was in high school and I have never dropped a size. It’s incredibly frustrating to walk into gyms, teams, or any place where I would have to exercise/move and be dismissed because I am larger than most people there. I sometimes feel like I’m trying to prove myself.

Now, let’s call our attention back to the first paragraph. My bigger body, my chubby body, my size 16-18 body operates like an athletic person 5-6 years younger than me. Hmm…does that prove that being healthy at any size is a real thing?

I will never ever be a size 2 or 4 or 6 or 8 or even 10. That’s fine. But I wanted to make a point to stop stigmatizing larger people and assume it’s because they are unhealthy. Have you seen the subway ad with the fat person’s body eating a bunch of junk food? This is making a lot of assumptions about what I put into my body.

1. Fat people aren’t the only people that eat junk food. You’re really going to tell me that people below a size 12, 10, 8 have never ever ever had a doughnut.
2. I have had doughnuts before, I have a big body, I don’t have diabetes
3. My living body just proved that subway advertisement wrong

To end this rant, I’ll say this:

I know that I’m very lucky to have these results come back this good. I know that I work very hard to stay health and to exercise when I can (even if I’m currently dealing with a sports related foot injury). But even with all my trying, I’m still this size. I was meant to be this size. So instead of me killing myself to be smaller, which I never will be, I’m just going to continue what I’m doing and live my awesome, healthy life. And hopefully, I will stop having to prove I’m an athlete because I’m not smaller.

[steps off soapbox]

Have you ever been to Whisk?!

This place makes me want to be a better cook. My friend took me here on Friday and I was blown away by how cool all the appliances were and how organized cooking can be. I bought this really nice 16oz Compact Thermos by Nissan ($27). I had been meaning to get one for awhile but never found one that I liked so much. Also, I drink way too much coffee…but what is worse it that I always by it out. This way I can bring coffee with me to work and not have to worry about holding it on the train. I can throw the thermos is my bag. Plus! It’s stainless steel! Non-porous, retains the heat and the cold. Perfect travel mug. I just need to use it now! The next thing I’m going to buy there is this Julia Childs candle. It’s too amazing.

Chocolate chip and apple pancakes with raspberry jam

Focus for the future.

I was riding the train to work and I saw an ad that used the word focus as the buzzword. I wanted to list my focus points. I am realizing just how trivial some parts of my life are and I’m going to start cutting those parts put of my.

I’m focusing on my career. I’m focusing on my relationship with my family. I’m focusing on my injury. I’m focusing on my friendships.

I’m not focusing on drama. I’m not focusing on what people are saying about other people. I’m not focusing on people’s inability to see both sides of a situation.

It’s not my job to smile for you.

“No, I don’t want to smile” is a phrase and situation I have debated over the past few years. It’s a reaction to people who think they have the agency to comment on my outward expression when I walk down the street. “Smile for me,” “It’s not that bad,” “You’d be so pretty if you smiled,” are comments I have heard while I was minding my own business trying to get to my preferred destination.  I’m sure female-identified people are guilty this, but my experience has suggested that male-identified/presenting people are often the culprits of expressing their opinion regarding my demeanor.

My only guess is that the people committing this think they are saying something nice; as if they are complimenting my beauty because it shouldn’t go unnoticed behind my frown. If this is how you (if you are female-identified and reading this) feel, that is great. The way we individually embark on our lives — especially how we hear/react to comments — is different for everyone. I, personally, react negatively to these comments.

I think from a very young age we are trained to look at women as decorations, and when a woman deviates from that protocol we ignore that person’s accomplishments because beauty is our main concern. Also, it’s almost as if we believe women owe their beauty. We see this a lot in our celebrity-obsessed culture. The most relevant example I can think of is Christina Aguilera’s weight gain. She has one of the most powerful voices of the last 10 years but all her accomplishments are wiped away because of her weight. The article that inspired this rant also used Christina Aguilera as an example and found a user comment about her recent weight gain:

“fuck her! I have a full-time job, go to grad school full-time, cook at home every night and still find time to get my ass to the gym. lazy ass fat bitch …”

The same article brought up the negative comments about Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan. This is a Harvard Law graduate, dean of the same program, who apparently owes us by living up to our standards of beauty:

“Her face is so ugly you can smash it into some dough and make gorilla cookies.”
“So fugly, I’d say ‘don’t even look’!!!”
“At least Medusa was modestly attractive by comparison.”
“This person is disgusting and I would never trust ‘it’s’ opinion on ANYTHING!”

It is not my job to make your day beautiful by my smile. I’m not here to be an ornament on your life. I’m here to live my life, and part of this is to have emotions concerning the things around me. I am not always walking around with a frown. I’m very happy, and pretty much a cheerleader about everything I’m excited about. I have my bad days, and those days do not require me to smile for anyone. I am a self-identified femme and love makeup/expressing my gender with my outward appearance — so I’m not “pretty bashing” (if that is even a way to explain it), but I shouldn’t have to be told to smile when I don’t feel like smiling.

Why we need sex education: A Rant.

Things you learn working at an adult toy store:

People are sexually repressed, and terrified of their own bodies. I absolutely understand this from my own past, and find some comfort knowing that I can take a really complicated subject and make it accessible to those struggling to find their sexual identity. However, there needs to be more sex education in this country. I can’t help but feel sad for the hundreds of women I’ve had to convince they are allowed to feel pleasure, and the tons of men I’ve had to educate on anal stimulation and prostate health — and how it doesn’t turn you gay. These are legitimate fears/insecurities I hear every single day that have been hammered into people’s brains. My favorite is the one about how if a female can put something big inside of her she is a slut, or loose, or has been fucking by many people. Or females who have been told this asking for creams that will shrink/tighten their vaginas.

[Before I continue, I'm going to explain a few things. 1. The walls of the vagina are anatomically designed to be somewhat elastic. You're not stretching anything. Also, let's also keep in mind the vagina is equipped to push out a baby. Of course, not everyone with a vagina self-identifies with giving birth or even has the ability to carry a child, but the vagina can expand (with lube and foreplay). Also, as a female bodied person stands up the walls of the vagina are touching. Those 'loose' rumors are incredibly false. Oh and those creams are meant to dehydrate you giving you the illusion of being 'tighter' when in fact it's causing you more problems than it's worth (dryness, irritation, bacterial infection, yeast infection). Okay, I'm done. Continue on...]
This is what I think is going on. I could totally be wrong, but this is what I’ve come to understand:

People are focusing too much on the morality aspect of sex and how it is defying god’s law to have it for more than procreation. So let’s not teach people about sex or sexual health because then they will get the idea stuck in their head and will want to engage in it outside of marriage and/or for pleasure. So rich, god-fearing politicians stand in front of podiums and submit bills to cut off funding for sex education and to places that provide contraception because that way they will cut off all thoughts people might have about their bodies.
Let’s look at the key words here [thoughts, their, ideas,bodies, health]. I will say this: if god gave us anything, he/she/they gave us free will and the ability for us to form our own opinions. I have the right to disregard the sex/morality guilt. I even have the right to spell god in all lower case letters. I have ideas and those ideas are different from your ideas.

Here is the plan. Fund sex education and contraception. Do it for two years and look at the results. I bet you will see a greater good that comes from it instead of looking at it as ‘god is going to get mad,’ ‘women are going to be sluts,’ ‘morality is going to go our the window’ way. Look at it as a way for people to think. The best part, we all have the ability to disregard the information — and  that should be an individual choice.

p.s. I wrote this on the G train about an hour ago.

Politics and women’s health

There is a lot going on in the political sphere that may directly affect my health and my body, and with those tenants come along certain misconceptions surrounding women. I’m going to post more comments that have been said to me recently — and my responses.

You are ignoring your role as a woman if you don’t want to produce a child:
Alright. So what you’re saying is that because I want to do more with my life than raise a child, I am ignoring my roles as a woman. First let’s for one moment remember that no where does it definitively state the roles of women, and since that is a grey area you cannot push me into a set of responsibilities that have not been outlined. I’m assuming that the fore mentioned roles you speak of pertain to being a nurturer or the caregiver — and as a woman my job is to give up my life in order to take care of a baby I should want to have inside of me. What about people like myself who cannot bear children? Am I ignoring my role as a woman because I don’t have that ability?

My tax money shouldn’t go towards birth control:
Well, my tax money went to two wars that I don’t agree with so maybe you should suck it up.